Watch the Shenanigans of the School

 

Discussion of topics to build awareness, increase knowledge-base, and ultimately assist in conquering the challenges of being special parents of kids with special needs, such as those with autism or adhd.

    So, there came a point in time (back in mid November of 2022) when my son was doing good with his reduced hour schedule at school and his teacher had to be out for a few days in a row.  His teacher was kind enough to message me to let me know in advance about her impending absence.  She said that the paraprofessionals, who were relatively new to her classroom, would still be there.  Also, a more seasoned para who had previously worked with my son, but who had recently transferred to another position at the school, would also 'be around' to help out if needed.  Everything seemed to be in order.

    Well, on the very first day of his teacher's absence, when I arrived to pick my son up, he was already in the office with an administrator.  Mind you, for the entire previous week, my son had been staying in class, completing work, and receiving good daily reports.  He himself told me that he had pulled someone's hair.  I drove us home thinking that I would get more detailed information about what happened on his daily report, as I had decided not to discuss behavior issues in front of my son at the school.  However, when I got home and checked his backpack, there was no daily report.

    Therefore, I was trying to figure out what happened that he should be sent out of class, and why he abruptly had this change of behavior after he had been doing good.  Possible contributing factors: the teacher was not in the classroom; we hadn't gone on our normal morning walk because it was cold and rainy that day; there was no outdoor recess because it was a cold, wet day.  Why was he pulling hair again?

    I put in a request to have the paras send home a daily report, if possible, even if the teacher is out.  I have no way of knowing what is going on or how he is doing without that report.  My son is verbal, but is very limited in his communication abilities.  They did honor my request.  The following day, there was a daily report.  Still, I had to find out exactly what happened on that first day the teacher was out.

    

    I will preface by saying that the school hates to put anything in writing.  I had asked for a note or other form of written explanation for what happened because I don't like talking about negative behavior issues in front of my son at school.  I believe it's damaging to how he views himself and is counter-productive when trying to encourage better behaviors, in his case.  Furthermore, I was short of time, trying to make a morning appointment.  I really didn't have time to discuss things at drop off.  Despite my request, I was stopped on my way out the door to discuss things anyway after my son was taken to class by a para.

    The administrator said that my son had not done anything wrong.  But, she said, he was being 'very vocal' in the class, so she decided to take him out of the class to 'help the paras out'.  He was with her for about an hour or so.  Doing what? Watching Paw Patrol and playing with sensory toys.  I told her that I h ad informed his teacher and everyone who attended the last IEP meeting that I didn't want my son pulled from class and allowed to watch Paw Patrol.  I told them that they should call me to come get him before they let him sit in the office to watch Paw Patrol.  That was undoubtedly reinforcing negative behavior from him.

    A couple of things were upsetting to me.  First, my son was removed from the class without good reason.  I question if it's in my son's best interest to be removed from the classroom for flimsy reasons, especially if it's just to make things easier for the paras.  The classroom is his learning environment and he needs to be in it with the other students, if possible, learning things to reach the goals stated on his IEP.  I didn't get many details about what being 'very vocal' meant, but I do question if it was really necessary to remove him from the classroom.  Seems like my child had been tagged and permanently targeted as a "Problem Child", and they wanted to save the paras from his antics, pre-maturely.  I'm very sure the paras appreciated that, but I did not as a parent.  It's not fair to label a kid and not give him a chance to make improvements.

    Second, the lack of communication between my son's IEP team, including his teacher, and this administrator, left me worried about the outcome for my son at that school.  Because she had reintroduced to my son the very thing that reinforced his bad behavior, naturally, I was terrified that his good streak was over and that he'd immediately revert back to past antics. And then he would be getting suspended again.  I'm all about progression, not regression.

    Third, at the time he was on a mere 2 hour schedule.  A full hour of that time was devoted to watching Paw Patrol and playing with sensory toys outside the classroom.  There is 30 minutes for lunch. I questioned if that was a good use of the limited time he had in an academic setting.

    As parents of special needs kids, we need to realize that the school system is not always, entirely going to be doing things in our child's best interest.  They will always claim to be, but not so.  They can make errors and oversights as all humans do, and they can do things quite purposefully as well.  The school will not always treat our kids fairly or in an advantageous way.  As parents, we are thinking mainly of our own children, and they are thinking mainly about their staff a lot of the time.  So, we have to acknowledge that those dynamics exist and be proactive about promoting what's in the best interest of our children.

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