Discussion of topics to build awareness, increase knowledge-base, and ultimately assist in conquering the challenges of being special parents of kids with special needs, such as those with autism or adhd.
Obviously, I don't expect the school to fix my son on it's own. I definitely have to play my part. I tirelessly researched ways to improve his behavior for a while. Oh, how I wished there was a pill I could buy to give to my son that was all-natural, safe, with no side effects, and affordable that would instantly improve his neurodevelopment. I found no such pill. A family member suggested that I give my son melatonin for a while, then stop. However, I was afraid to give it to him for any extended period of time after reading the label that said explicitly that it was for "occasional" use. I didn't know how long was too long.
Perhaps melatonin works if it is administered under the supervision of a doctor. My son's Pediatrician had prescribed Guanfacine to take the edge off of his behavior. But when I researched this medication more, I found out that it is not even FDA approved for kids under the age of six. My son had just turned five years old when it was prescribed. I guess the Pediatrician felt that desperate times called for desperate measures. I, on the other hand, was not comfortable with giving it to him yet. I stress yet. My research indicated that behavior therapies for a child and parent training can be effective at helping to improve behaviors when a child is under the age of six.
I was in the process of having my son evaluated outside of the school, hoping to get an updated diagnosis and a better understanding of what type of therapies would be good for him. Also, the school was in the process of conducting a Functional Behavioral Analysis which would help the teachers know why he was behaving the way he was. Based on that knowledge, they would know how best to manage him. Not one to sit idly by watching and waiting, I decided to figure out if there was anything I could do at home to help my son. The following are some of the changes I made:
I believe in kids going to bed at a decent bedtime. My husband doesn't care to implement a bedtime for our son. Because of our differing beliefs, my son's bedtime had not been consistent. Depending on who put him to bed, he might have gone to bed much later than he should have. I had to change my mindset. Instead of thinking, 'I'm too tired. It's his turn to put him to bed,' I started thinking, 'My son should not suffer because I want to rest and my husband is ignorant.' It obviously depended on me to get our son an adequate amount of rest at night. Interestingly, I had read that a kid who does not get enough sleep can exhibit the same behaviors as a child with adhd.
I learned through research that hyperactivity is a known side-effect of Claritin. My son had been prescribed Claritin for having symptoms related to allergies. By paying close attention to my son's daily reports, it became apparent to me that when I gave him Claritin, his behavior was worse. When I did not give him Claritin, his behavior would improve. My intention is to talk to his Pediatrician about an alternative anti-histamine or other option for him that does not have hyperactivity as a side-effect.
My son had also been prescribed Flonase to deal with congestion. At one point, he took Claritin in the morning and Flonase at night. Now, I knew to be leery of anti-histamines such as Claritin, but I didn't know that corticosteroids for decongesting could be a problem too. I did, in fact, notice that when I stopped giving my son Claritin, he improved. If I gave him the Flonase only, he would have more issues at school with behavior. When I stopped giving him Flonase too, his behavior improved. Sure enough, I read that studies show inconsistent results, but it has been a matter of concern that nasal steroid sprays may cause children to be more hyperactive or irritable, and may even affect their growth if used long-term. This is another one I have to talk with the Pediatrician about to find a good alternative. See this link to start your own research on this topic.
Over the summer, I had become acquainted with Mary Barbera's Turn Autism Around program. I paid $500 for the parent training program for kids up to five years of age. I ended up feeling like my son had already acquired the skills for which the program was designed to help a child achieve. For example, he was already pointing, gesturing, talking short sentences, etc. I didn't get a refund because it took me too long to come to that realization. However, I listened to several of her podcast episodes and read information on her site that I found of interest and helpful. From her, I learned that Copper could be something a child with autism should avoid. She said to be sure that if you give your child a multi-vitamin that it doesn't contain copper if you are having issues with aggression. Copper can increase irritability and aggressiveness. When I checked my son's multivitamin, it had copper in it. I decided to stop giving that to him as well. The only thing he is currently taking now is fish oil and a supplement with magnesium, B6, and Zinc. Mary Barbera is a BCBA. Go
here to read more on the subject of copper.
So, I had looked for options to use as positive reinforcement for good behavior. I wanted a way to motivate my son to behave well, and also reward him for having done so. A simple prize board with tokens did the trick. After designing a cheap, fun, colorful board, I let my son know that if he did something good he would get a token. When he got all the tokens that would fit across the board, he would get a prize. The prize was either some candy, balloons, or an opportunity to take one toy from the prize bag. All the toys were inexpensive, bought from Dollar Tree. Sometimes, I let him put his tokens on the prize board himself which he seems to find extra gratifying. I like this system and think it helps to keep him on track.
When my son has completed a requested task or has behaved well, I reward him sometimes with none other than candy and toys. I don't give him candy or toys hoping he will cooperate. He must first cooperate or behave, then he gets candy. I buy small bite-size candies and give him one per good deed unless I'm feeling extra generous. In addition to the prize board, tokens, candy, and toys, I take note of things my son seems to really like and I try to leverage those things to my advantage. For example, he loves wearing suits. If his behavior was not good, I would tell him I'm taking a suit so he can't wear it and physically remove it from his closet. I'd let him know that if he were good, he would get it back to wear.
Another example is a show on Tubi that he loves that we call "ABC". Generally, I don't like him watching a lot of cartoons like Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig anymore because they are highly addictive for him and increased his hyperactivity. However, this 'ABC' show is a lot more educational than those other cartoons and is not as action-packed or fast-paced. Again, if his behavior is not good, he is not allowed to view the show. If his behavior is good, he gets to watch it as a reward.
School normally starts at 7:30 a.m. Due to his behavioral issues, the school put him on a temporarily reduced schedule from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Having the extra time in the morning was not bad because it allowed him to get more sleep, and to eat his breakfast (he is a picky and slow eater). I also felt like I should use some of that time to allow him to get outside and exercise. He is very hyper, can't sit still, and loves being outdoors. My research indicated that it is beneficial for kids with adhd to get plenty of exercise. I hoped that having an outlet to expend some of his excess energy before school would help him to be calmer and more focused while in class. In the morning we usually walk around our neighborhood. He rode his bicycle for a while until the training wheels broke. A couple of times we went into our backyard to play tag or potato sack chase. I think he enjoys and looks forward to walking the most, so that's pretty much what we have been doing lately. We bundle up in cold weather with gloves and hats. He loves wearing them. Before it got cold and it was rainy, we grabbed an umbrella and put on raincoats and rainboots. He gets excited about wearing those as well.
I wanted to help my son to better regulate his emotions and develop self-control. He is much too impulsive. I decided to start off with two games I discovered online. One is a Popping Bubbles game. With a regular container of bubbles, first I blow bubbles at my son, encouraging him to pop them to his heart's content. Then, I blow another round of bubbles at him, this time telling him not to pop any. Naturally, as they float near him, and land on him, there is a strong inclination to pop them. He has to fight that inclination to do what he is told not to do. Of course, the positive reinforcements are useful in this game. If he is successful at not popping the bubbles for a short time when told not to, then he can earn a piece of candy.
Another game I have him play is a Red Light, Green Light game. In the morning, before school and after our walk, I play a video for him, which can be found
here. When Caitie says, "green light," he can dance or move as directed. When she says, "red light," he has to freeze. Again, it strengthens his ability to resist acting on impulses and follow directions.
Just before we walk out the door to drive to school, I have him to repeat after me: "I am good... I love school... I like my teachers... I am kind... I work hard... I follow directions... I am calm... I try my best..." He started out really excited doing these positive affirmations, even standing in front of the bathroom mirror while saying them. The excitement started to wane, however, and I started getting the "aw ma" response. Still, I insist. Even if he doesn't want to say them, I repeat them out loud for him to hear. I'll even show him a previous daily report where he got smiley faces and I will tell him, "You are good. You get smiley faces." I remind him of his positive accomplishments so that he doesn't associate himself with negative behaviors. I don't want him to think he is an inherently bad child and act on that belief.
So, I had done some research. I'd put some things into practice with the goal of being consistent. Time would tell if there would be any improvements in my son's behavior. I was hopeful, and I desperately needed hope.
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Teaching social skills to children with autism is an important and common goal. Model Me Kids has developed some teaching tools that you may find useful. Their videos feature real people in real environments, and are designed to teach social skills to children with autism and developmental delays. Some areas of focus include: school, playdates, going places in the community, confidence & bully prevention, and practicing conversation. Great for teachers, parents, and therapists. Check them out here! Paid link
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